Thanking Religion?

The idea of a God, and the lack of one, has been vital to my intellectual prosperity; to understand this occurrence one must look at my upbringing. In the early years of my childhood my parents were lenient when it came to matters regarding religion. However this suddenly changed about the time I was nine; by going to church my parents had initiated an impregnation of our home with religious dogma, from the ubiquitous holy imagery to the constant religious visitors. My environment was being enthralled with religion.

The predicament with this is that religion has this intellectual restrictive property; that limits the range of one's ken greatly. Let me explain. Belief requires a sort of surmising that borders on the insane. In the realm of belief God is all-knowing, and the bible is the source of all truth. This leads to great limitations in education, for if the bible contains all truth what is the point of exploration. Why go to school or do research if you could just stay home and read the bible or any other holy text. This was the type of thinking inflicting my mind, and I was happily ignorant of this for five years.     

Richard Dawkins abruptly stopped this period of complete ignorance one evening as I was reading his book called The God Delusion. Prior to this act of religious defiance one must get a feeling of the atmosphere leading up to this one moment. During this time I was exploring new areas of knowledge that were considered taboo to my religion. I was learning about the germ theory, big bang theory, and the evolution theory; ideas and concepts that labeled me an iconoclast to my community. However I kept on learning because these ideas were expanding my ken to new reaches that my religion could not and would not do. Furthermore, this new-found intellectual freedom catalyzed a hunger for more knowledge that persists to this very day. In this regard I find myself thanking religion for truly awakening the scholar in me.

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Glisten of Chastity

                                    Glisten of Chastity

   The whore lies in the bed bleeding. She weeps quietly there alone. Clouds edge up against the side of the bed and lift her to the cool winter night.

"Come let me see your face. Look into the dark splats of beauty in your eyes"

She raises her head to the blinding voices. Red pouring to the ground. The streets look weak from this hieght.

"What fair star fell beneath your skin that you had a crystal spark? Look at this figure before your eyes, it is your being."

                                                     
                                                       -Silence-

Cool winds pass giving a warm arousing sensation. She looks to the side to where the Earth has made its distance.The moon erupts suddenly into the sky with a silhouette figure descending

"You have darken your flesh. Here I am"

He moves smoothly onto her body onto the slit in her legs from which she bleeds.

"Let me taste the blood of which your soul has become."

His tongue moves over it. She looks onto the figure of whom remains silhouettte.

"There it is. The hallow black that fills your voids."

He plunges his arm deep in her abyss launching roars of groans. Tears floods here eyes. Hands clenched on the sheets she screeams.

"Here, bare witness to what was yor demise"

He holds it to her face as she begins to cry a broken cry. Blood now rushing out from her.

"You once told me you loved me. You once told me you glisten in glee for me, but you fell in his rage. You now bleed his blood!"

The river runs dry. No more blood. From the sky he gestures his hand as though grasping its infinity. With a whiten glow he places it against her chest . He cuts at his wrist bleeding.

"Here now, I give you life"

She awakes to his face.

"I want to love you" - She

He grasps her thighs and burrys deep with a rhymic beat. Moans fill the air.

"Taste the light that you crave inside you."

She embraces it fully, kneeling before his legs, bobbing her head.

"Eat now for you had hunger for life, you lost it in your demise."

The moon spills onto the bed molding into a chalice. He releases his flow onto it.

"Drink for it will brighten your soul."

She grabs the chalice pouring the smooth white liquid into her.

"Look into my eyes. I now proclaim you free of what you were, here now is light."



"Do you love me?"

"Yes"- She

He grabs her breast squeezing them until she screamed.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes"- She

He claps his hands an fire spit onto her body, burning.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes"- She

He snaps his fingers and a thousand arrows pierce her flesh.

"Do you love me?

PAIN, SCREAMS

"Yes"-She

He placed a blade in her palm directing it to his chest.

"Stab me if you do not."

"I do, I do love you."

He looks into her eyes and smiles .
He sings.
The skies melt onto the bed drowning her,as he flies away......air.....come..........back..........












She awakes into a soft silk bed. The room nicely painted. Floor coated in marble tiles. She gets up, opens the door and sees.....

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Thoughts From A Nobody

 Our world is continually going through a repetitive metamorphosis; 200 years ago we had barely conquered the means of using electricity, yet here we are conquerors of the digital age. What lead to these inconceivable alterations in human history? In my opinion, we owe all of this gradual progression to the great thinkers who innovate and invent. This leads me to wonder, where am I in this maelstrom of new trendsetters? Progression is not going to stop and new catalysts are needed to lead the new millennium into grandeur.

 The human mind is a mutable entity that embodies inconsistency to the fullest. However this tendencies to change is not a faux pas in part of the evolutionary process, but an endowment in some sorts. Due to this attribute we are able to always dream and aspire for betterment in our society because we know we are capable of it. Once we see the extent of our abilities we get a bit greedy and want more. Bigger skyscrapers, faster production, better technology, yet in this fuss we taint our gains. Ultimately, ironically, undoing the progression, yet we move forward; we are truly a comical being. 

This leads me to the internal impasse that inspires this post. Where am I in this maelstrom of new trendsetters? I see the news, the internet, the ever disappearing newspapers blasting into my face the accolades of these new age prodigies. There unlikely triumph over adversity, only strengthening their labels as scholars. These ambition that I have, are they unwarranted? I feel a sense of worthlessness when I think of the workaday contribution I have, and potentially will continue to have, on our society. Is it wrong that I want to do something to ameliorate the problems facing our world?

Are these feelings just fueled by personal gain? Is it that I want to be the center of attention, I want to be recognize, I want people to be proud of me? These are all things that I desire, but are they the sole reason I want to do good? And could this self-interest motivate not only my reasons to be good, but motivate the good we see in all human beings? This sensation of inadequacy still looms over me like a dark cloud; writing this post is almost as insignificant as my complaint. I am not sure if I will or will not make a contribution to the human race. But why must I feel bad about it?  

-Superbia et Occupatio

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Late Night Thoughts

I have always felt that my life has been nothing short of uneventful. I went day by day thinking that nothing was ever going to change. I felt so small and insignificant. I was only doing what seemed to be expected of me but nothing more in order to avoid problems. And I remember starting high school, it made me feel that feeling with fervid intensity. I remember walking down the halls and feeling invisible. People could see right past me, never giving me a second glance. I was so angry and fussy back then. Ha ha.

Of course, I don’t feel this way anymore. I have long since realized that no one is really putting me down on purpose and that my life isn’t as meaningless as I had once thought. I think that sometimes a big obstacle of ours is only seeing what we have left to do instead of seeing how much we have done. Stepping back and reflecting on what you’ve done can change a lot about your attitude towards things. I wasn’t stepping back to see my accomplishments, no matter how small they were. Sometimes our greatest accomplishment could be getting up from bed one morning. Sometimes our greatest accomplishment is to start the day.

Looking back at this year, I realize a lot of things have happened to me. I’ve earned a scholarship to study under amazing, respected artists who encourage us to pursue our goals. I've talked to important, talented artists who took the time to look at my drawings and demonstrate for us how they work themselves. And I've talked to one of my favorite voice actors from my favorite childhood cartoon because she had recognized some of my fanart. I'm just so grateful and happy that my hard work has brought me so much happiness. And I just can’t say my life is uneventful anymore. I mean, I would have never guessed that any of it would ever happen to me. And what makes me happier is that if it happened to me, then it could certainly happen to someone else. Someone else can have the chance of being just as happy.

Sometimes we should just step back and see how many great things have happened to us. How many obstacles we have overcome. How we have all accomplished something. How the world would have never been exactly the same without you.

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Gerome & Lily

Gerome: Tis it a fair day

Lily: Tis it fine

Gerome: I wonder how the sky is on the other side

Lily: Where?

Gerome: To where the lake falls beneath the sea. To where the sun awakes and sings. To where the flowers cascade through the open basin.

Lily: The words of which you speak what do they try to convey.

Gerome: My dearest Lily now that I have return from my long treacherous journey, from which danger lurks on thee grandest of scale. I have seen the stars across foreign skies. Now I have come to the lands of which brought my birth. I remember the day of which I first laid eyes on you.

Lily: Gerome. Of what message are you trying to let out.

Gerome: The sky was overcast..

Lily: Gerome no. Do not bring about these memories that long been in our past.Thy know of my engagement to Fredrick. I most honor it or my father will disown me of my family. Art thou know of this. The times between us should be left in its abyss.

Gerome: Lily please listen to me. When I peer into your sky I see all those things. The blue sapphires glisten amongst the moon. They reveal to me the world of which light constructs the realms. I long to come to stand before your presence to melt in your sweet delight. The infinite words I could speak of thy soul. The melodies the angels may sing for your graceful movements. Now Lily, thy soul has me at its mercy. Feel my heart. My heart that has beat in joy from the moment it saw thee that fair day in our youth. The vicious course of time has wounded me so. I present you with my entire possession. My love that holds me still. But please fairest Lily if thy were to reject my request take thy cleanest sword and drive it to my demise.

Lily: Gerome. Thee speaks of the most gracious words, but how can I leave my duties? How can I live with such dishonor?

Gerome: How can you allow me to burn before your presence? You once told me of the one true virtue: Love. Have you forgotten of such words?

Lily: Gerome......I..

Gerome: Lily. Now look deep into my eyes as I do to yours......What mystic beauty. Now tell me you don't love me as I do. Tell me your heart doesn't say my name with every beat.

Lily: ......Gerome...I..I do...I do love-

[Morning arose and the flames burst along the walls. The ground shattered open and consume them whole.]

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A Certain Type Of Stupidity

Have you ever had a crippling embarrassment over being incapable of possessing the same skills as others? Recently, I went to a college day that my art program was holding. Everyone seemed so much more experienced than I was. I felt embarrassed to even say that I had work to show. I had never experienced anything like it, and it made me wonder what made me feel this way and if others felt the same way at times. 
I realized that it happens a lot more frequently than we would like to admit. Truth is, in an ordinary school, the same thing is happening all the time. The school is constantly ranking us on our ability to follow their system of judgement. Follow instructions, do your work, get good grades, don’t do anything else. If you have a high gpa or if you have advanced classes, people often assume that you are a very intellectual person. I would try to stay away from that type of thinking since that means that those who don’t do the same aren’t very smart. Which is absolutely not the case. The people who are considered very smart are just able to follow or cheat the system into working in their favour. The others just aren’t interested or capable of this type of intellect. Which isn’t very fair since there’s many types of intellect, I think. Someone in a lower level class might possess a skill someone from a higher level class doesn’t. If we judge them solely by this skill, then we could say that the person from the higher level class is “stupid” in the area. We don’t often see it this way though, since we’re so used to a sole type of intellect, the one forced upon us by the educational system. We hold certain skills to have more value than others. But I leave you with one of my favorite quotes: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”- Albert Einstein

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Time....

 Time. We see it through the actions that flow behind. It is curious how in one instance you are in the present and the other in the past. With this realization it is important that we cherish every moment of our lives. I am a high school senior and I know in just a few months all my friends will be going their separate ways. I've try to image being in the future and remembering this moment. I want to be able to recall a moment well spent.

It seems as though I slept one day as a fragile infant and awoke a grotesque beast. Its strange I see my hand everyday at it feel the same but I see the mirror and see it has changed. In a couple of waves my horns will extent and I will be dead.

"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present"

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