Two Worlds: A Cultural Dissonance Within Writing

My first attempt at writing in English was horrible. I had no idea what I was doing. All the strange symbols and rules only catalyzed confusion. Therefore, at the age of five I had made up my mind that English was just not for me. Eventually I would rethink that judgement, but at that point in my life all I had ever known was Spanish, and replacing it with English was something fundamentally challenging. I had just moved from Mexico to the United States, and that transition came with many different expectations. One was that I needed to write and communicate using a totally different language. The strange part was that I never really felt like I left Mexico. The tamales tasted the same and the people that lived around me looked and sounded the same. The only thing that was different was that the dominant language in my new society was English, and this was most evident at school. For when I sat down at my desk I learned in a different tongue, and more importantly that when I picked up that pencil I was no longer comfortable. I soon realized, however, that writing was to become the vehicle that drove my assimilation into this new system.

Strangely at home nothing had dramatically changed or reflected the culture shock that I was experiencing at the time. This created a big contrast in my young life, and it was almost like I was living in two distinct worlds. At home I experienced a reality rich in my own culture and dominant by my native tongue, while at school I faced a new and different culture that was personified by the difference in language. Driving down the street everything was writing in English. Most of the shows on the television were in English. However, at home everything was in Spanish. If the television was on it was probably tuned in to a Spanish speaking station. All the people I came into contact with at home spoke in Spanish. Every time we met someone the same question was asked, where are you from? The answer came in different forms like Michoacan, Jalisco, and Hidalgo, but it all meant the same thing. If I was planning to assimilate into this new country I was going to need to master the language, and my home was not the place where I would find help.

Help would come from within myself. I started to enthrall myself in my new language, and as a youthful kid this was not a difficult thing to do. I watched cartoons in English instead of my prefered Spanish, and read all the books I could get my hands on. The one thing that aided me the most, however, was writing. Something about writing called out to me. The way you could write about anything that crossed your mind captivated me as a young child. I would spend countless hours writing about random thoughts and ideas. Creating stories for my own amusement. At first most of my pieces made no grammatical sense, but as I kept writing my stories became better and better. The writing I did for recreation would later prove fruitful at school, for my understanding of the language that was at first daunting became more and more manageable.

Once I took on this new hobby of writing my grasp of the English language became infinitely better. Moreover, one of the things I enjoyed most doing in elementary school was writing short stories. I remember jumping at any chance I had to write tales about talking horses and invisible bridges that had gnomes living underneath them. Second grade was when this passion of was truly recognized and solidified by someone I considered a mentor. Mr.Yock, my second grade teacher, greatly encouraged my zeal for writing. He truly cared about my development as a student, and that left an impression on me that has lasted till this day. I recall vividly the time he was so impressed with one of my pieces that he read it out loud to the entire class. This small gesture meant the world to me at the time, and solidified my love of not only writing but of learning in general. This is when writing became more than just a hobby, but something that was crucial to my development as a student and person. After this defining experience I started to put more time in developing my writing ability.

My writing style at the beginning was unoriginal. I imitated the style and techniques of authors that I enjoyed reading. I was still not fully comfortable with the language, so mimicking writing methods utilized by proven writers made me feel more confident in my pieces. They were like a security blanket to my insecurities as a writer. For example, one author I really took a liking to is John Green the very free-flowing ambiance that his writing had was something I tried to add into my work. Moreover, his writing was very comical, and easy to read, I took this and also applied it to my own writing. For a time a lot of my writing had a comical and fun mood. This, however, did not last for as I became more affluent at English I started to move away from mimicking other authors, and trying to find my own style of writing. Parallel with this development as a writer was my assimilation into the American culture.

As I became more original as a writer I also became more of an individual within my new adopted culture in the United States. All the things that confused me and were foreign were now commonplace and familiar. Writing gave me a medium in which to reflect about my own assimilation into American society. During high school much of what I wrote dealt with social issues that I felt passionate about. I wrote about American history and its relationship with the history of Native Americans. I wrote about great American authors like F. Scott Fitzgerald and Toni Morrison. All these topics made feel closer to the culture I once felt so far apart from. These subjects revealed to me the social consciousness that permeates American society. The innuendos and ideologies that are riddled through the story of America. Through writing I was able, to a small degree, add on to the continuous tale of this country. Thus, catalyzing in me a full incorporation of the American aesthetic.

In college, my writing now faces a different challenge. All those years I spent reading and writing my way into the American culture had an adverse effect on the part of me that remains Latino. Part of my development as a writer, and person, is trying to find factors that make me an individual. Now that I have become a part of the social discussion I need to find a way to contribute something unique and add on to the communal think tank. I believe that the culture I arrived to this country with and the perspective that it provides me with is where I want to take my writing. However, just as I did with the American culture I find myself very detached from the ideas and values I use to hold. Nonetheless, just like writing was a vehicle to my understanding of American values so will it lead me to a better grasp of Latino ideas and culture.

I no longer feel the same doubt I once felt picking up the pen. Even now as I’m taking a similar journey into the Latino aesthetic I go at it with a new confidence. A new found respect for the art of writing and its ability to connect me with a language and more so with an entire culture. My development as a writer runs in parallel with the my Americanization through public education. As I became more in tune with my visions of writing I also became more connected with american culture. Now as I attempt to marry two sides of me that I saw as completely apart, I can say with full confidence that writing will play a crucial role in that process. Writing is a vehicle of understanding.

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Yertle The Turtle: How Does Man Exercise Power?

Power, in whichever form that it may be in, is an entity that most human beings want to posses. This is a primitive urge, for if you have power it is more likely that you will survive in order to spread your genes. In modern time,  “power” has ceased to be so simple, and has become more of a complex apparatus. However the pursue of power is fueled by the same motives as our ancestors had. Power gives man a sense of authority that subjugates others into his control. Therefore, one can conclude that man exercise power and authority through primitive fashions, but with a rather complex goal in mind to restrict other men’s liberties, therefore increasing his power.

However, before we analyze the methods in which man flaunts his socio-political hegemony one must first realize where this power first originates from. To fully understand where a leader receives his authority one must look at cases where the people openly support the ruler or government. In these cases power is bestowed upon the leader democratically or willingly by the people making the practice of their power inconspicuous, for if you are willing to follow someone their orders do not really seem like orders at all. To exemplify take priests, who because of religion, have social power given to them through the facade of “love”. To the followers, the priest can do no wrong, and their commands only serve to benefit them. This is a dangerous type of power because it encourages a type of blind obedience. This can be seen in the Milgram experiment where test subjects demonstrated a complete obedience similar to the obedience seen in religious followers. However the key thing to note here is that this extreme obedience does not only stop at the extremely religious, but to common people as well. Good people can be pushed to do callous and severe actions by a powerful authority figure; everyday responsible men can be seduced by the trappings of authority. In order for any ruler to establish his power he will need a group of these complete followers the rest of the people can be subdued through conformity and force. From here one might be able to see the whole picture: conformity, obedience, and force all have to do with one thing, the people. Power comes from how much control one can exert over the general public.

In the short story “Yertle the Turtle” by Dr. Seuss, one can see this primal need for power unfold. King Yertle realizes that he is not content with the extent of his power. Power in this book is associated with how much Yertle could see, thus the only logical way to increase his power is to achieve greater altitude. Hence, Yertle decides to use his subjects, the other turtles to build a higher throne. This can be taken as a perfect analogy to the ideas expressed in the preceding paragraph. That the thrones of kings are made from the people they rule. This is most highlighted by the introduction of Mack, the last turtle in the pile, who Yertle is especially cruel to. This lack of compassion can be seen as a way in which ruler show their dominance. Yertle yells out his commands in a rough,brute, and intimidating fashion. This could be interpreted as a leader that uses force to gain control over the people.   

Force and physical intimidation are all very primitive ways to exercise power and this is seen in human beings. This is especially true when one looks at a more minute social aspect of human interaction. In ape society, a males main tool to secure a dominance status is aggression. This is applicable to how human males exert their power as well. I do submit that the methods in which humans are aggressive has evolved alongside us over the years. However the principle idea remains intact, humans, especially males, are aggressive to show of their power.

Furthermore, this use of aggression to demonstrate power does not stop at the physical, but extends to the practices of a more tactical approach. Take for example the secret police forces in totalitarian states that turned neighbor against neighbor, and subjugated nations to a ubiquitous surveillance of the people themselves. This can be seen in Nazi Germany with the Gestapos, in which people were telling on other people even if their suspicions were false or done to simply cause mayhem to their fellow person. Moreover, taking a more international approach to the use a force, one can observe militarization through nationalism as a way to demonstrate power to other countries through the use of the military. The military in this sense is a country’s muscles, and militarization is flexing these muscles. Nationalism is the vehicle that allows it to happen, the catalyst in other terms.

My final point will be that man exercises power by limiting other people’s liberty. I state this because the one instrument that can manipulate freedom in such a way is power. For this I point to Stalin’s russia, in which Stalin, due to his power, was able to ignore or strip away his people’s freedoms to enhance his ambitions for Russia. For example the economic policies Stalin implemented were brutal to the liberties of the peasants. One such policy was collectivization where Stalin imprisoned, deported, and even executed anyone who opposed him. Now in these circumstances we can see how power is clearly demonstrated through the oppression of the less-powerful. Every man desires to preserve his own liberty, and only true excessive power can take it away from him. Lastly, the more of liberties man can take away the more powerful he becomes.

Works Cited:

• Milgram, Stanley; Some Conditions of Obedience and Disobedience to Authority.
• Suess, Dr. Yertle the Turtle. New York, Random House. 1958
• Muller, Martin, Mitani, John. Conflict and Cooperation in Wild Chimpanzees.
• Russell, Bertrand. A History of Western Philosophy; 1945. New York

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Origami Tales

My current boyfriend is really sweet and gave me this as a present. The origami is really neat and pretty and after I was done admiring it, I remembered how terrible I am at origami. And how terrible I am at...any 3D art in general! Ever since I was young I never grasped the art of making pretty stuff out of paper or cardboard or anything that involved gluing and cutting and folding. Ohhhh my god, it was so bad. It was so bad to the point that my parents actually felt bad that I was trying but could not do it to save my life. They ended up doing all of my projects that involved models up till about I graduated high school. And even then they would help me out with the projects. A good portion was my parents doing it and it ended up looking obviously done by them. What 5th grader could actually construct an Eiffel tower out of cut wire and hot glue. Not this 5th grader. This 5th grader cried because even though she tried, she couldn't do it. Which sucks because that is life. That's life when instead of trying to learn from your mistakes, you keep repeating them. Recently, I went through probably the hardest class I have ever taken in my life so far. An intro to oil painting class. It was terrible. Actually, no, it was a lot of fun. I loved it. BUT, even so, I spent hours upon hours finishing up paintings to get an A and fall short and up with a B.

See the thing about this artsy stuff is that no one really cares. Haha. That's not true but to an extent there is a level of "it doesn't matter because when are you actually going to need these skills". People will ask you why it matters to you so much that you can't paint a bottle. And I guess you don't really notice that it bothers you until you're in a classroom at 3 am trying to figure it out because you're probably the slowest learner in the class. And you come up to the next class session and realize that everyone put twice the effort you did and got a better looking bottle. I mean, obviously. This time no one was helping you out in an area you struggle with the most. No one to hold your hand and guide you through what you have to do. "It's just a painting and you're not even a painting major!" Even so, my friends, even so. I will not lie and say it doesn't bother me that I can't do something right. It's frustrating when your whole life you kinda just spent it gliding by the easiest academic system known to man to finally deal with a struggle. It's a problem when you don't have enough motivation or dedication to working a hard day. Or maybe even that's not the problem. It's not finding the motivation to work on something you supposedly have dedicated your whole life to. Is passion a consistent thing as much as people play it up to be? Or is it a dedication of working on something although you hate it and looking back and then appreciating it? Is passion everything everyone makes it up to be? Then compared to a different problem of actually working to survive and thrive and keep your family safe. I wonder how far this spoiled thinking has rooted itself into my peers and I. My number one thought is that I'll prove myself when the moment is critical. But if I live like that, I'll never be prepared for that moment.

I'm torn between "Don't be too lazy or you'll regret it" and "Life is too short for you to work yourself to the bone". If you love something, work at it. But, also, work at it on your own pace. Sometimes I think people want to be a success at the age 22 when, let's be real, you'll probably be scratching the surface of your career. I don't wanna end this story on a sad note when it started off so cutesy so let's take a good look at more artsy stuff.

I guess, even if it takes a long time, that's okay. DaVinci would bite of more than he can chew but at least he was ambitious. Keep that in mind my friends. Have a beautiful day ♥

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An Appropriation of Culture

Here's a neat little essay on Etruscan and Greek Pottery that I did for Art History. Maybe someone will enjoy it out there

Krater of Antaeus by Euphronios. Athens, c. 515–510 BC
Clay

            Due to most of the Etruscan cities being in ruins, not much is known about the 

mysterious Etruscans. Most of our information gathered on the Etruscans came from looking 

inside their tombs until very recently when other “non-funerary contexts” arose (Izzet 2008). The 

Etruscans were also not a unified state, but spoke a similar language and was connected 

culturally. This strong connection would enable those in Etruria to be able to get together and 

spread this cultural influence all the way to Pompeii and to Greek cities. With this strong 

connection and evenly distributed wealth, the Etruscans were able to trade with their neighbors 

more frequently (Camporeale 2005). And one of their favorite things to trade for were Greek 

vases. The fact that this piece of pottery and many others were found in Etruscan tombs instead 

of Greece itself it shows that there was a strong interest in Greek pottery held by the Etruscans. 

But this interest would go way beyond that of admiration. The religion and way of life depicted 

in Greek pottery in Greece was created for a show of wealth and ideas deeply rooted in their 

society, while the Etruscans would appropriate the vases into their daily lives.

Side 1

Side 2

            The “Krater of Antaeus” is a very well-known piece of Athenian pottery created by 

Euphronios. This red-figure calyx-krater portrays a scene of two men on the floor fighting each 

other, their heads interlocked, their bodies in movement and stress, and their faces starting to 

show some distress. The women in the background take notice of the men and put their hands up 

in shock as the gesture moving away, their clothes swaying as the begin to move. To the right, 

we see a slain animal. On the other side, the audience can see men in flowing drapery sitting 

down with their musical instruments, watching their companion take the stage. Their actions and 

faces showing a much calmer state.

Athenian Black-figure Olpe attributed to Amasis 540-530 B.C.

            One of the most noticeable characteristics that jumps out to the audience at first glance 

about this calyx krater by Euphronios is the very famous style that’s brought out by red-figure 

pottery. This technique and style would most commonly be associated with the Archaic Greece 

potters and was introduced around 530 BC after their experimentation with black-figure pottery. 

Comparing this piece of Athenian pottery to the black-figure olpe attributed to Amasis in c. 540 

BC, there is a great experimentation with naturalism in both anatomy, movement, and fabrics 

presented in the calyx krater by Euphronios. However, one thing remains consistent in both 

pieces of pottery, they both depict what seems to be daily life of the Athenians. In the calyx-

krater, a scene of young men in a music competition is being shown, while in the olpe the scene 

is that of two banqueters relaxing on a couch while young men and women entertain them. But 

these “daily life” scenes are not the daily lives of all Greeks but are very clearly aristocratic 

scenes being portrayed by the Greeks. There is a “social exclusiveness” in what they depicted in 

the vases, not every Athenian had the wealth to partake in these symposiums and music 

competitions (Snodgrass 1981). Due to the Etruscans not being able to fully understand the 

original meaning of Greek artwork, the vases are put out of context and can be given new 

purposes and meanings (Spivey 1991). They began to adopt these Greek Elite customs and began 

holding their own symposiums and using these exact vases to mix and drink wines from 

            Looking at this calyx krater by Euphronios, the women on the vase are made smaller than 

the men in order to put more emphasis on the men. The fact that there are no women partaking in 

the music competition gives the viewer a glimpse into Athenian ideals. Greece was the best place 

for men to live in for they were wealthy and they all had equal say, but women were not given 

the same luxuries as men. An example of this is in the olpe, where women were treated more as 

entertainers than equals. The artwork depicted in the Etruscan tombs are known for showing 

scenes of luxury and relaxation including both men and women. Women had more power in 

these societies and this concept was not taken from the Greeks (Camporeale 2005). This shows 

that although the Etruscans allowed themselves to be influenced by Greek artwork, they only 

took what they wanted instead of fully participating in Greek customs and ideals.

            A common focus in Athenian pottery would be on Greek mythology. These scenes of 

Hercules wrestling Antaeus were not actually narratives but were instead used to evoke the 

viewer into remembering the facts of specific events. These scenes show the mental part of 

Greek culture rather than things that happened in their lives (Isler-kerenyi 2006). Etruscan 

religious artwork would depict some gods that were shared by the Greeks but would add their 

own twists. The Greeks understood that this artwork was in high demand but would not change 

their subject matter regardless (Spivey 1991). This is possibly due to the fact that the Etruscans 

were buying into the Greek mythology, that they did not have to change much of what was being 

            In conclusion, the Etruscans were able to pick and choose what part of Greek ideals they 

would like to bring into their lives. They took a few religious beliefs and events from the Greeks 

without always fully understanding the context. However, they did not fully conform into the 

ideas of the Greeks and this is apparent in their treatment of women and the act of placing these 

vases into their tombs. If most of these conclusions are based on funerary contexts, perhaps we 

would be able to understand whether the vase played a more important part in the afterlife than 

in the lives of the living if we held more information on the tomb it was found in.

In the end, I'm pretty sure I did not do well in this class. ♥

Sources

Bonfante, Larissa. 1986. “Etruscan Life and Afterlife: A Handbook of Etruscan Studies.” 

Michigan: Wayne State University Press: 72

Camporeale, Giovannangelo. 2005. “The Etruscans outside Etruria.” California: J. Paul 

Getty Museum: 18-23, 48, 87, and 256. 

Isler-kerenyi, Cornelia. 2006. “Dionysos in Archaic Greece: An Understanding through 

Images”, translated by Wilson, Wilfred G. E. Brill Academic Pub: 3

Izzet, Vedia. 2008. “The Archaeology of Etruscan Society.” Cambridge: Cambridge 

Snodgrass, Anthony M. 1981. “Archaic Greece: The Age of Experiment.” California: 

University of California Press: 193 

Spivey, Nigel. 1991. “Greek Vases in Etruria.” In Looking at Greek Vases, edited by

Tom Rasmussen and Nigel Spivey, 131-50. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press: 143, 144

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Getting Dumped 9 Hours Before Your Labs Are Due:How I Spent My Frst Week of Senior Year

Ah senior year, cherished by so many ,as the final victory of lap of four years of awful institutional indoctrination; the first week should be the  delightful bridge between the summer time madness and the vast adventure laying ahead.That was not the case.---The clock reads 1:30 am, I have officially missed the deadline for my IB Biology lab. After carefully breaking up such a daunting task through out the week I should have finished this assignment by 8 o'clock pm . However like most things in life, it never goes according to plan. Yesterday, it was precisely 3:15 when the terrible news had knocked the wind out of my poor sleep deprived self. After spending the first  week of school  strategically avoiding the so called "talk". My long term boyfriend had ended our two year relationship. I will not go into details on what exactly was said, but it was enough to leave me an emotional wreck in between the lecture hall and the office. Only to be removed by my 15 year old brother,as he escorted my distraught self into our mother's vehicle.

I would spend the next five hours crying  my eyes out, as I attempted, without much success, in finishing my lab. I was not able to  eat, I was not able sleep, all I was apparently capable to do was cry without end. I could not help but notice , that I spent my  underclassmen years looking down on those who would allow something as "superfluous" as a boyfriend, to impede them from turning in an assignment in on time. I find it ironic that I am finally found myself on the other side of the fence. I have spent the last 10 and a half hours going through the five stages of grief, trying to make out how exactly those who go through this during their "finals" week survive this emotional down pour. I've come to the conclusion that those who manage to pull through are nothing short of genius.

My firsts week should have been the start of a great adventure, not an emotional avalanche waiting to crush me at the end of the week. Sadly, there's nothing that can be done to mend the situation, however that does not mean senior year won't get better, in fact, it is because of this that my future looks bright. You know what they say, once you're at rock bottom the only way to go, is up. So now after watching  at least 3 YouTube videos, and at least ten hours of breakup music I'm finally ok. I have been given the chance to really work on the yearbook, to prepare for mock trial and win medals for academic decathlon. So senior year bring it on I spent 13 years of my life without him, I can most certainly get though the next couple of months. I'm the brightest star in the solar system , you know SOLis.

 

I probably should get back to that lab.

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Karen Page's Page of Komics: "The Anime Club"

I'm going to use this space to recommend one of my favorite comics of all time, KC Green's The Anime Club. I will warn you now that this comic relies on the reader's ability to relate to it. If you have no prior history with anime and/or had friends who really enjoyed anime, a lot of this comic's charm might be lost on you. Which is damn shame because it's a very enjoyable journey. Especially since it's all too real when it comes to the experiences anime fans have gone through. Who could forget that time you punched someone in the face for talking shit about Card Captor Sakura? The characters seem to be like every fucking anime fan you met or were yourself, from the overly-enthusiastic weaboos to the pretentious douchebags with better taste than you. Anyway, I'd say give it a shot anyway because it does have a plot to it rather than just "haha anime references". It's also fairly short so you don't have much to lose.

The Anime Club revolves around four high schoolers in their own Anime Club: Mort, Mark, Dave, and their newest member, Clyde. Kicked out of Mort's house, the comic starts off with the Anime Club meeting being held at the local library. Mort's choice of entertainment for the meeting is an animated porno, "hentai", lovingly named "Smegma Princess". Unfortunately, the data in the disc is corrupted, giving Dave's computer a virus. A fist fight and a Dave's meltdown later, the club is banned from the library. And thus the quest to find a new meeting location and a refund begins.

My favorite thing about this comic is the outstanding art style. It really carries an old school cartoon look, thick lines, ridiculously dramatic faces, the works. It's almost like something you would find on Nickelodeon. Not only that but you can actually see the artist's improvement over time! We don't often see an artist's progress. We're given the finished, concrete version of their work. Sure, it's important to have consistent quality content but there's something refreshing about seeing where someone started and where they currently are now. (Which is funny because I never keep my old drawings and yet here I am raving about seeing progress on paper.)

Here are some examples of how the visual quality of the artist's content has improved:

From Part 0...

...to Part 1, we can already see a vast improvement.

One of the original strips from Part 0

Compared to Part 4!

The timing, mood, and storytelling have all improved dramatically from the beginning strips! The storytelling stays pretty consistent from Part 1 and on, and the humor is excellent throughout, so it's great ride from start to finish!

If the comic caught your attention, read all 6 parts here! ♥

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Senior Year: The Long Expeted Journey

    As the sun sets on yet another summer evening, it becomes harder and harder to ignore the inevitable: senior year is upon us. While most of my classmates anxiously await the start of the final year of high school, I’m petrified. Suddenly the need for my relatives to know what I’m going to do with my life has become downright intimidating.I have spent the past two weeks, systematically avoiding the topic. Which is actually pretty ironic. If you would have asked the girl in the picture where she wanted to be in the next twelve years, she would have looked you straight in the eye and answered, “I’m going to change the world, or at least settle for world domination. ”
           Many years have passed since I first dreamt of world domination, and, like most things, I grew out of it. Soon my dreams began to take a more attainable shape, by the time I was 10, I had decided I was: (1) NEVER going to lose to Marvin Ayala EVER again; (2) go to Oxford University (or any famous ivy league); (3) say a speech during my graduation; and (4) change the world. As time went by, I started to add to that list. Suddenly, things like getting the full IB Diploma, graduating with a 5.0 GPA, join as many clubs as I can get my hands on and other stereotypical "college ready, college bound' overachiever goals were all I could think about. However, life has a very funny way of helping you reevaluate your goals.
         Suddenly all those things I once thought were a "shoe in" for Ivey League Universities don't seem to matter anymore.To be completely honest, I no longer find people who brag about their almamader impressive. Instead I have completely fallen in love with the idea of attending a liberal arts college, that's not necessarily well known, but genuinely cares about their students.Part of me secretly can not wait to experience what William Deresiewicz  describes as the purpose of college is , "...to assist you to establish communication between mind and the heart, mind and experience, that you become an individual being-a soul." While that sounds all too swell and dandy,  the fact it in a few months in less than 3 months I'll be applying, still renders me cripple.

So what are my goals for senior then?

1) Make the Freshmen fall in love with M.E.S.A
    M.E.S.A is one of those few things I never pictured joining, I always pictured my self more of a verbal competitor. Everything change once I entered Ms. Nguyen's class that fateful Thursday, I was hooked. I met the people who would become my heroes. Suddenly I was submerged to a buffet of opportunities  where I would be to  cater to my competitive needs. Now because  I am perhaps, one of the most selfish person  I know , I never want to see M.E.S.A fall before my very eyes.  Especially after I just met two freshmen boys Darien and Brian,who are the living proof that there is hope for class of 2018. I want to make sure M. E.S.A is to them, what it was for me. So I am going to give everything I got to make sure M.E.S.A remains that society of awesome.
2.) Become Empress of Yearbook (editor)
This is actually one is actually inspired by two people, their names? Rick Rodríguez and Karen Page. Rick taught me that it is possible to be both academic and artsy. Karen taught me that I have to take time to get art. These were probably the greatest editors we have ever had.  However there was one thing missing, the real voice, the real face of Firebaugh, or at least the real  representation of the class of 2015. I want to show that we are more than just Jesus Fuentes, that we are more Randy Heffernan. We are actors, engineers, artists, and academic decathletes. That's what I want to show in this year's yearbook. This is what I want to be shown in for every class.

3)Advance to the second round for Mock Trial and win the Top Scoring Decathlete.
It's been 3 years you guys, these are basically for:
 

4. Finish my comic book.
Because there should be a comic book that follows the life of a super hero slowly losing his immortality to Alzheimer's.
5. Build a giant bra and thong and hang it around school.
Why? Because Mr.Wilson said I would never do it.
6. Become either a Quest bridge or Gates millennium scholar.
Self explanatory.

The rest of my goals are pretty strait forward, stop procrastinating, strait A's, get accepted into college, find a better way to release stress, pass my I.B exams etc. But I mean who doesn't want that right?

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Two Years: A Look Back

August 2, 2012. This is the date in which everything began... Well in this blog for the most part. This writing experiment has now officially been ongoing for two years, a milestone that is noteworthy because I sincerely did not see it getting here. A year maybe, but two I mean come on lets pat ourselves in the back. I have to say there have been moments where this blog has come near to internet irrelevancy, check the post history, but it has kept itself alive like Rocky in that one movie. You know which one I'm talking about. You know the one where he punches this dude, yea that one. Anyways to commemorate this event I give you the collective reaction of all most of the writers on staff. Enjoy. -G&W

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Karen x 7: Name Changes And Why People Need To Chill

I always had a huge fascination with how people named their children. Why, out of all the sounds you can throw onto a child, did you choose this? So, naturally, I would ask my mom why they chose Karen for me.
She told me, "Te pusimos el nombre Karen, porque cuando tu papá estaba joven, se enamoró de su maestra. Pero no puedian estar juntos porque ella era mas mayor de edad. Me dijo cuando estabamos juntos que si tenia una hija, le iba poner Karen."
Basically, my father picked it for me in memory of his old crush on his teacher, according to my mother. My mom would always pick on him, calling her his ex-girlfriend.  I loved it. I never asked my dad for his side of the story because it was so entertaining to me, I didn't want any of the humor or "magic" to be broken. I had such a strong connection with my first name. Everything about it made me happy. The way I had to write the letter "K", three giant sticks heading in different directions. Meaning "torture" or "pure" depending on which era you're looking at. Shortened form of Katherine, becoming 2 syllables, easy to pronounce. Short, sweet, to the point. Simple. It was just right for me.

Too bad everyone's parents seemed to think the same thing because we had around 5 different Karens in each fucking class.

Karen Ramirez, Karen Hernandez, Karen Fombona, and Karen Ruiz. None of them carrying a convenient nickname in their pockets except for Karen Peña in my yearbook class, who's nickname was "Little Karen", because she was two years younger than me. (Firebaugh students flourish with creativity.) There had to be at least 2 Karens per class and I remember being caught by surprise when there was only one Karen in my senior world history class, can you say #blessed? By the end of senior year, whenever I heard the name Karen, I stopped turning around so I wouldn't waste my time finding out they were calling out some other Karen. Caused a lot of trouble when people were actually calling me, haha.

Going into my first semester of college, I had taken a Intro to Japanese class. Soothing, calm, and no clamoring noise of three girls trying to claim the name Karen at once. No awkward turning of heads trying to figure out which Karen they meant, so they wouldn't get an accidental absence on their record. So far so good. Until I hit my first art classes. Two art classes, two Karens in each one. Ruiz in one and Long in the other. Now, I wouldn't mind being in a lecture class and having a thousand Karens because it doesn't matter because none of us will be talking and all we have to do is sign our names on a sheet. But in these very interactive courses with smaller class sizes, getting confused happens. Especially when second semester hits and the three Karen artists got caught in the same 2D foundation class.

But enough about Karen, let's talk about Ramirez. Ramirez is just not a name I identify with. I was never called by it and the only times I used it were for papers. It felt like a student number, just there to sort me away from different Karens. And while I respect my ancestors and my parents for passing it down to me. But it's just that. It was passed onto me and I never fully accepted it.

And now, finally, onto Page. Page is a name I very much identify with. I started an art blog under the name Page for my art commissions, and it just became a norm for others to contact me as Page. In this world I was no longer Karen Ramirez. I was just Page. And what makes me happy is that I chose it for myself because it feels like myself. My closest friends gradually started calling me Page and slowly I'm trying to introduce myself as such. I accept it and would prefer to be called Page rather than Karen or Ramirez. It just became a part of who I am.

The biggest problem with this name change for me is bringing it up to people who only call me Karen. Which, I think is why I even wrote this piece. Whenever I bring it up to not so close friends, they don't understand why I even want to do it in the first place. That's fine. I don't mind if people don't understand but still go along with it. Hell, I don't even care if you slip and call me Karen by accident because it's bound to happen. But I've had people outright refuse to call me Page altogether because it would be an inconvenience for them to have to remember a new name. They won't even try. Being unable to be slightly uncomfortable for .02 seconds to comfort a friend who's trying to go through a process, just doesn't sit right with me. It's big but not everyone feels so attached to their names. Changing your name is a slight change of worlds and, to me, it's a new step in the direction I want to go in my life.

Tl;dr: I'm named after my dad's ex. Life as Karen. I changed my last name. Prefer to be called by it. People change their names. Don't be a dick about it.

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Thoughts That Arise in The Last Minutes of August 1st 2k14

   

   With only roughly less than  ninety minutes left of August 1st, and "Good For Great" by Matt and Kim playing softly in the background, I can't help but feel emotionally overwhelmed by the situation that I have found my self in. Life is happening too fast.

   I guess it's more than that. To be honest I'm really pissed off.  I'm mad at myself for not being able to finish my first blog post, even though I've been working on it for two weeks. I'm mad because I'm too scared to write about my goals. I'm mad for ignoring my friends advice on attending  college work shops. I'm mad because I ignored Dr.Busick's email, for postponing my historiography research. I'm mad because I spent thirty minutes staring at a screen before I actually started writing this. I'm mad because I'm not ready to see the "places I'll go". I'm mad because I stared at the  Common App for one fucking  hour  and deciding that I'll start it tomorrow. I am mad because I  haven't been able to come to terms with the fact that, in less than a year I will no longer attend school with my younger brother. For starting 95% of these sentences with "I'm mad..." That I'm graduating.

    I'm astonished at how eager my friends and classmates are to leave, how easy they can just throw it away. To throw away childhood. To be excited for senior year. Were we not sophomores not too long ago? I used to want this day to happen, I really did. So badly I wanted to see the world.I remember counting down the years until the day would arrive for me to leave. I was such a pretentious little brat when I started high school.  Now that I'm starting the long expect journey, I don't even have the will to open the door.

   To top it all off  I couldn't even plaster on a smile for my little cousins birthday.


 ..... I really don't know when I'll finally "agarro la onda", but hopefully it happens soon. I really want to finish that post.

   

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Gadflies: Philosophy Versus Ideology

This was my very first paper written in college. Not my very best work, but I think I did an adequate job for my initial attempt at a university-level final paper assignment. I did this at the very last minute and I remember the night before it was due very well. I was extremely stressed and panicking because I had run out of ideas to write about. Nonetheless, I survived and turned it in. I got a decent grade for it, so it wasn't that bad.

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Hume's Argument Against Reason in Conclusions of Cause & Effect

           In the Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, David Hume sets out to show that all knowledge can be derived from experience. Hume takes a particular look at the experience of cause and effect and our knowledge of the relation between the two. It is in the fourth section of the Enquiry that he presents what one commentator (Peter Millican) describes as Hume's “most celebrated argument” concerning the relation of cause and effects. It is obvious that we experience things of which we call causes and other things which effects, but Hume is interested in how and why one can conclude anything at all from such an experience. Hume answers in part two of the fourth section, that conclusions from an experience of seemingly cause and effect, cannot be founded by reasoning. He therefore takes it as his aim to explain and defend this answer throughout the fourth section and the rest of the text. I will therefore argue in this paper that Hume's argument for his solution functions as a viable defense for his solution.              

          Prior to Hume's discussion of cause and effect he makes an important distinction between two kinds of objects of reason. That is to say a distinction between the kind of things that one can reason about. This distinction will aid us in our understanding of Hume's discussion of cause and effect. One kind of object of reason is what Hume calls relation of ideas. By ideas Hume means the less lively and less forcible perceptions of the mind. Ideas are faint copies of another kind of perception of the mind known as impressions which are lively perceptions (such as hearing, seeing, feeling) and are forced upon our minds. Relation of ideas Hume means, “every affirmation, which is either intuitively or demonstratively certain”(4.1) Things that are intuitively certain are things that are known through a direct intellectual grasp, such as our knowledge that 2+2=4. Things that are demonstratively certain are things which can be proven by a sequence of intuitive steps, such as a proof of Pythagoras’s Theorem (that the square of the hypotenuse of a triangle is equal to the square of its two other sides). Relation of ideas are thus objects of reasons which can be known a priori. By a priori I do not mean to imply that there is any innate knowledge in people (recall that ideas are derive from impressions which are derived from experience), but that only that it can be justified without experience.

       The second kind of objects of reason Hume calls matters of fact. Matters of fact are in contrast, a posteriori, that is they can only be learned through experience. They concern ideas in relation to the actual world. For example, it is a matter of fact that words are appearing on the screen of my computer after I press buttons on my keyboard. And it is not a contradiction to suppose that a matter of fact such as this could be otherwise. For it could be the case that I press the buttons on my keyboard and birds start to fly out my computer screen. For this reason Hume thinks that “every matter of fact is still possible” (4.2) since every outcome which we conceive by the mind would have the same “facility and distinctness” (4.2). Therefore, matters of fact cannot be demonstratively or intuitively certain.

                 Now we have sufficient understanding of Hume's distinction of objects of reason to proceed to unravel his enquiry of cause and effect. Hume decides to investigate a little deeper into the nature of the evidence that gives us an assurance of matters of fact. Matters of fact he states are found on relations of cause and effects. Recall, I found that it is a matter of fact that words appear on my computer screen after I pressed keys on my keyboard. And still as I continue to type this paper I am making an on-going inference that there is a connexion between my pressing the keys and words appearing on the screen. But on grounds is this inference made? Hume answers that the connexion between cause and effect is not intuitive and there is a required medium (grounds) from which to make the inference. As this is as Hume says a “new” (4.17) question we should not trust our own “penetration” (4.17) of the question and instead lay out all the different kinds of reasonings and show that none of them make a viable medium for inferences of cause and effect.

                 Hume divides all reasoning into two kinds, demonstrative reasoning and moral reasoning. Demonstrative reasoning is the reasoning concerning relation of ideas. Arguments from this kind of reasoning involve intuitive steps such as, if you recall, my earlier example of Pythagoras’s theorem. Moral reasoning concerns matters of fact and involves uncertain inductive steps. I am using moral reasoning to infer at this moment that words will continue to appear on my screen after I press the keys because that has been the case several times in the past. Therefore, if Hume is to show that our conclusions from experience of cause and effect cannot be derived from reason he will have to show that that these kinds of reasoning are not plausible mediums from which to infer the connexion between cause and effect.

                   Hume first refutes the possibility that the grounds for the inference of cause and effect can be founded on demonstrative reasoning. Demonstrative reasoning if you recall are always certain. That is, a denial of it would imply a contradiction. 2+2=4 can be not be conceived to be any other way or else it would be a contradiction. But as Hume points out, “it implies no contradiction that the course of nature may change” (4.18). For there is no contradiction in supposing that birds may fly out of computer screen after I press on the keys. Such conceptions would seem to oppose the nature of demonstrative reasoning. Another much simpler refutation to this kind of reasoning is that demonstrative reasoning requires no experience, but we need experience in order to infer an effects from its cause. For a person that has never seen a gun could not infer without experience that a bullet will be fired after the trigger is pulled.

                 Hume then continues to investigate whether moral reasoning could be a plausible medium for the inference. We have said that matters of fact are founded on the relations of cause and effects, and that we know that relation from experience. In our ending conclusion we want to be able to say that the future will resemble the past. But in moral reasoning this means, the future will resemble the past, because future has always resemble the past. But this doesn't tell us why the future must still resemble the past. The evidence itself supposes the conclusion which generates a circular argument.

It must follow then that our conclusions from experiences of cause and effects (namely that there is a connexion between the two) cannot be founded on reason. This negative argument (one that derives it conclusion through the negation of the other options) is one that is not only plausible but also perfectly viable if we are to accept Hume's empiricist philosophy. For in order to refute Hume, one would either have to show how relation of ideas and matters of fact do not cover the all objects of reasoning, or prove that there is an object-less reasoning which both exists and is viable solution for making inferences of cause and effect. Otherwise we must accept as Hume does in the fifth section of the Enquiry that we only draw conclusions of cause and effect out of a habit of seeing the events constantly conjoined.

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Blast From The Past: Bully Research Paper

This is a paper I wrote in the 10th grade. Looking at this work, retrospectively, makes me realize that my writing has come a long way. I'm by far not a great writer, but I'm glad that I can notice improvement in my ability to compose a prose. 

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Assertion of One’s Own Importance: Comparing and Contrasting

It is very common for people to feel the need to impress their families and their friends through different means. From expensive clothing to boasting about one’s own abilities, society is known to give more importance to certain things than others. But could our own want for validation serve a higher purpose in the bigger picture? If we put aside the obvious notion that some paintings serve a greater importance in history, and look at the artwork of the 18th century, we can see the various degrees the public would take to assert their value in society. Here, we’ll be analyzing the portrayal of two men, one from the beginning of the 18th century and the other from the late 18th century. 

In Pompeo Batoni’s Portrait of John Talbot (1733) we are presented with a man of culture and class. Or so we are meant to believe. 

Hyacinthe Rigaud’s Portrait of Louis XIV (1701), presents Louis XIV honorably and admirably in order to show the power of France. The techniques, use of color, and objects found in the portrait’s of the men reflect not only their countries and interests but also their value in the eyes of the public, but to different degrees.

The unique objects placed in the background and the rich garments wrapped around these two gentlemen portray them to be of high status, but to different measures. While in the Portrait of John Talbot it seems to show the young man to be finely dressed, the king shown in the Portrait of Louis XIV presents the king to be in far more luxurious clothing. The very ornate, rich in color, fur lined robe and the lavish drapes hanging behind the king gives us a peek into the royal’s grandeur and pompous lifestyle. This leads the viewer to the obvious conclusion that Louis XIV has a larger amount of wealth than the young John Talbot, whose clothes are fashionable but not of the same quality or material. Though, during the Enlightenment period, it was far more important to be presented as a cultured, well-traveled, sophisticated man, which was what John Talbot had been aiming for. With Neoclassicism on the rise, the classical antiquity placed in the surroundings of John Talbot is a fine example of being a cultured, sophisticated man. This attention to classical antiquity and enlightenment is a very distinguishable characteristic of Neoclassicism. In comparison, the Portrait of Louis XIV, presents a slight interest in the architecture, with the column placed behind the king, but not of classical antiquity. This interest in architecture refers to the time period’s focus of Classical Baroque, which was the king’s preferred art style.

Due to their darkened backgrounds and contrasting colors, the figures are greatly illuminated by the colors in their garments. In Pompeo Batoni’s artwork, the dark, murky blues and greens casted by the trees in the background strongly contrast the warm, bright reds and soft gold used in his clothing. There is also a soft light approaching from the left casting on him to bring all the focus on him, as well as  creating a fairly strong shadow behind him furthering the contrast between lights and darks. This great contrast in both color and in value make John Talbot the center of attention in this piece. In Hyacinthe Rigaud’s artwork, a similar technique is used in order to set the king as the most important part of the piece. The light casting on the king illuminates him and the background only gets darker the further it goes back into space. The warm reds on top and the darkened yellows placed in the background, as well as on the floor, are used to accentuate Louis XIV’s rich blue robe and bright white garments. This technique not only brings the main focus into view but also draws out distinctive characteristics of the men. Mostly, that of the king.

Both men in these portraits try to present their more admirable qualities, but there are also characteristics about themselves that are not presented or are hidden by the artist. While in Pompeo Batoni’s piece, John Talbot’s leisurely and relaxed side is reflected in the work. John Talbot does not face the audience but instead stares off into the distance with a soft smile on his face. The audience would believe that John Talbot is just a relaxed, easy-going man but it’s hard to decipher any outstanding things about this man, such as what he does in his past time. In contrast, the artist presents great characteristics of the king in the Portrait of Louis XIV. He does so by accentuating Louis XIV’s legs with his use of color as well as positioning the piece to show the legs more fully. In his portrait, Louis XIV wanted his legs to be visibly notable to indicate his great skill in dancing that he had done as a young man, which he was strongly proud of. But even with his well-toned legs and extravagant garments, the king had attributes that he did not want to be noticed by the public. Due to the short stature of the king, he specifically instructed the artist to make him appear larger in his portrait. In order to do so, the artist made Louis XIV appear larger than life and positioned the artwork in a way to present the king in a grander manner. As well as feeling insecure about his height, the king had worn a wig to appear more youthful towards the public to keep a certain image of him, and perhaps his country, in tact.

Both men had asked for these portraits in order to display their high status and good qualities, not only to show themselves as respectable men but to represent their country admirably as well. John Talbot was on his travels through Rome and felt it appropriate to show his travels to his friends and family by commissioning a portrait to depict them. This could be seen as an earlier version of a souvenir to bring back to show the world his refined taste and worldly experience. Because the English had won the seven year war, and there was a burst of pride for one’s own country, this type of action wasn’t uncommon. They felt a need to assert themselves as a winning power. In fact, since it was fairly common to do this, the artist had all the props to stage this type of portrait frequently! As an Englishman of class, John Talbot could have been one of the men who felt that he had to show he was part of a grand country. But it wasn’t to the same extent that Louis XIV wanted to show his power. John Talbot’s depiction of his country being powerful was much more subtle, and while it could influence others to see him as a respectable Englishman, the need was not as strong.  Louis XIV had also felt the need to use his own portrait as a status symbol to the public. He felt the need to accentuate his legs, make himself appear larger and younger than he really was, in order to keep his image of a strong ruler in tact. This artwork is considered to serve as propaganda to show the power of the ruler and the country. By depicting the king as a healthy, young man with both riches and experience, he is showing that there is still power in France. That France itself is still stable because the king is as well. In this sense, it could be described to be a more powerful piece than Pompeo Batoni’s portrait of John Talbot since John Talbot did not hold such a strong, influential position in power that could influence the masses as much as a portrait of a king.

Although both portraits serve to emphasize the importance of the two gentlemen being painted, one portrait serves a higher, more influential purpose than the other. Both are similar in various techniques involving both light, shadow, and color in order to emphasis the importance of the men in the portrait. The content is also used to the advantage of the men to depict their significance and great qualities that each possess or would wish to imply to others in order to gain admiration and respect from others. This could be from a small community or to a larger audience. Hyacinthe Rigaud’s Portrait of Louis XIV was a strong piece of propaganda in order to get the audience to entrust the king and marvel at his power, health, and stability. While Pompeo Batoni’s Portrait of John Talbot was a lot more subtle in it’s purpose. The audience was not meant to marvel at his strength in power or his stability in the monarchy but to impress others with his worldly experience. But, in my personal opinion, they both need to chill because they are so fucking full of themselves. Seriously.

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IB Historiagraphy: Jim Morrison and William Blake's Poem

To what extent can Jim Morrison’s ideals be seen as parallel to those presented in William Blake’s “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell” ?

(Word count: 1868)

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