Thoughts That Arise in The Last Minutes of August 1st 2k14

   

   With only roughly less than  ninety minutes left of August 1st, and "Good For Great" by Matt and Kim playing softly in the background, I can't help but feel emotionally overwhelmed by the situation that I have found my self in. Life is happening too fast.

   I guess it's more than that. To be honest I'm really pissed off.  I'm mad at myself for not being able to finish my first blog post, even though I've been working on it for two weeks. I'm mad because I'm too scared to write about my goals. I'm mad for ignoring my friends advice on attending  college work shops. I'm mad because I ignored Dr.Busick's email, for postponing my historiography research. I'm mad because I spent thirty minutes staring at a screen before I actually started writing this. I'm mad because I'm not ready to see the "places I'll go". I'm mad because I stared at the  Common App for one fucking  hour  and deciding that I'll start it tomorrow. I am mad because I  haven't been able to come to terms with the fact that, in less than a year I will no longer attend school with my younger brother. For starting 95% of these sentences with "I'm mad..." That I'm graduating.

    I'm astonished at how eager my friends and classmates are to leave, how easy they can just throw it away. To throw away childhood. To be excited for senior year. Were we not sophomores not too long ago? I used to want this day to happen, I really did. So badly I wanted to see the world.I remember counting down the years until the day would arrive for me to leave. I was such a pretentious little brat when I started high school.  Now that I'm starting the long expect journey, I don't even have the will to open the door.

   To top it all off  I couldn't even plaster on a smile for my little cousins birthday.


 ..... I really don't know when I'll finally "agarro la onda", but hopefully it happens soon. I really want to finish that post.